Things I'm Learning Thursday

Which doesn't necessarily mean that this will be a running Thursday series (because we've all seen how good I am at that....ahem, Gratitude Fridays). But more that I am in the mood to expound. :)

So I've been thinking a lot about blame lately. Because when things go wrong and I am tired and cranky, I am usually looking for something or someone to blame. Clearly this isn't healthy. And the more I reflect on it, the more I feel like the blame game just isn't viable in my life. I think I can divide situations into two blame categories, ones where something indeed has happened as the result of another person's actions, and ones where things happen as the result of lots of interacting forces. In the first case, it is really quite easy to slip into the blame game. You have someone right there to pin all your frustrations too. But really, who cares? Learn from it and move on. Most people are not inherently evil. :) As a matter of fact, most people don't want bad things to happen in general. Forgive, learn from it and move on!

And for some reason, it is way easier for me to deal with those situations with grace and forgiveness that the times there isn't just one person to pinpoint. When frustration kicks in, the little devil on my shoulder SOOO wants to take that anger out on someone. Which makes me even more frustrated because the situation isn't nearly that simple and I know I am wrong and I really am not in a place to admit that. :) But I think I'm ready to turn the corner on this behavior. My parents have a Fault Schedule at their house. It's my Dad's fault on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, my mom's fault on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, and my grandfather's fault on Sunday (because he's nearly 90 and deserves the break :)). They said it makes things a lot easier. :) And while I considered this, I think I am going to eliminate fault altogether. In most situations, we have all contributed to the fiasco, so we all need to work together to fix it, big or small. Instead of blame, I am thinking I am going to ask myself (and help my kids ask themselves), "What's wrong with the situation? What can I do to make it better? What can I do in the future to make sure it doesn't happen again?"

And if we all make an effort to do that, I think our family will be a lot more peaceful. Forgive, learn from it, and move on! (A good mantra......so if you hear me mumbling that under my breath, do some deep breathing with me and give me a hug. :))

Now the challenge, how to help a 3 year old understand that he impacts the world around him and that it's not all about him? Without pulling out your hair? :) Hmm....this one is going to be a toughie. (Not even tackling the 1 year old yet. )

Must go...there is a little girl climbing on me.