We're here!

We made it to Norway and it is absolutely gorgeous....However, everyone in town sounds really astounded when they talk about the whether of the last three days, so I get the impression that this isn't normal.  That's okay.  I came from Seattle.  This isn't my first circus.

I wish I could show you pictures, but alas, my beloved iPhone now belongs to Will's parents and I haven't quite figured out how to get my pictures from my camera's SD card to this laptop.  Working on it.

Things I have learned so far:
1) Marshall is motion sick on airplanes.  But is really quite polite and good natured about it all.  "Wow, I feel a lot better now, Mom. Thanks. That flight attendant was really nice.  This is the best plane ride ever.  Can I have another bag?"

2) It is colder in April in Norway than you think it is.  Fleeces and rain coats were a little optimistic.  But put them together and voila! winter coat.

3) When entering a rotary in Norway (of which there are very, very many), be bold.....and then continue to be bold.  Bold and then timid makes your husband pee his pants a little.

4) Norway is not used to the gentle leader collar we have for Nalu.  People definitely think our dog is muzzled and cross to the other side of the street when we are walking.  Either that or they do not care to be walking with the loud Americans with a little boy announcing loudly "JEG HETER MARSHALL".

5) People in US=very worried about paperwork for dogs entering Norway.  People in Norway=not so much.

6) In Norway, it takes TWO HOURS to complete a load of laundry on a normal cycle.  I must investigate this and figure out how to decrease the time.  Because loads are also very small.  I might be doing laundry continuously for the next two years.

All in all, we are liking it here a lot, but I have to say that it still feels like we are on vacation.  We get to move into the house in two weeks if things go well and I have a feeling that's when it's going to start feeling real.

Time for sleep and time for you all to eat lunch. :)

One week

We have one week.

One week left in our beloved Edmonds.

One week left until we see Daddy.

One week left to see our friends here and say goodbye.

One week left to pack up our stuff and clear out.

One week left of single motherhood.

One week left until we start our new adventure.

One week left to close this wonderful chapter of our lives.

Saying goodbye to this place is a constant confusing mix of celebration and grief.

Me and my bottle of wine are ready.  (To be fair, those of you aware of my drinking habits will vouch that perhaps maybe a fourth of this bottle will actually be consumed.....that is unless I get company. All are welcome. Reservations totally unnecessary.)

Bye Bye Dream Car

That right there is one great car.

My dream car actually. Way back when hybrid cars were things to be dreamed about, I heard tell of a thing called a "Hybrid SUV".  From the moment I heard they were in development, I wanted one.  What a perfect way to satisfy my love for the SUV and mitigate the guilt of driving a gas guzzler. 

Now my husband is a loving, supportive man, but he doesn't do big showy gifts.  That's simply not the way he is and thank goodness, it's not what I want either.  But while on deployment in Guam, he called to tell me he was purchasing me a first generation Ford Escape Hybrid.  And he didn't make a big show of getting me the car of my dreams.  He just did it.  Because he loved me.  He didn't ask questions and never ever made a big deal about the fact that we probably could have gotten a lot more car for the money.  He made it seem like just another car purchase, but, in reality, it was one big act of love.  An act that said "I know that you have given up a lot for me, moving to Hawai`i and living through 8 month deployments.  And I know this is important to you.  And that's enough."

And throughout the craziness of the last 7 years, moving to Florida, getting out of the Navy, moving to the West Coast, finding our way to Edmonds.......throughout all of that, Will and this car have been the constants in my life.  The things that never changed.

I brought my first baby home in that car.

I brought Will to the hospital when we had no idea how close he was to losing his life in that car.

I drove across country with a 3 month old and my mother in that car.

I got to 7 cm, while trying to bring Marshall to a friend's house and get gas before going to the hospital, in that car.

I brought my second baby home in that car.

I drove to Ashland almost entirely with one hand in the backseat trying to soothe Josie in that car.

I have sat in silence praying that both my first child and then my second child would stay asleep in that car.

That car has seen alligators and elk, swamps and mountains, highways and dirt roads, dance parties and lullabies, and yes, more bodily functions that one cares to imagine.  But through it all, it's been MY car.

And now it's not.

And now this whole move thing is really starting to seem real.

Excuse me, while I curl up in the fetal position and polish off a box of Girl Scout cookies while wearing my fleece happy pants. 

Rational thoughts

Okay, so I am officially freaking out.....

And there's really not anything anyone can do about it, so I know your offers to help or bits of problem solving advice are coming from places of love, but do not be offended when I don't accept them.  (Except for the offers to watch the children......bring those on. :))

But we are all feeling it.  Tonight Marshall had a total meltdown because Josie didn't want me to read a Magic Tree House book at bedtime.  It's just too scary for her.  And that's okay.  And we talked about that for a good half hour. Sorry, did I say talked?  I meant, Marshall cried and yelled and I did lots of forced calm talking and deep breathing exercises. You would think the boy who can't watch Disney movies because of the villains would be a little bit more understanding about these things.  Alas, Josie is not allowed to have an opinion different than his.  (Because that's what it was about.....I came up with a completely acceptable solution that involved us reading it by ourselves while Josie got to read with a flashlight in bed.  Two of the parties involved were fine with that.....the six year old couldn't let go.)

And it wasn't until I started writing this that, okay, okay, I get it.  Thank you blog-mirror and calming glass of wine for pointing out the obvious. Perhaps....just perhaps.....Marshall might be mimicking someone in his life.  Hypothetically, there may be a certain woman in his life that may have a problem letting go and accepting that she might not always be right.  I am WORKING ON IT, alright? However, unfortunately now that I am the only parent this side of the Atlantic, my flaws might....just might....be amplified.  Or at least not buffered by someone else's influence.

Let's just hope my good qualities are coming out just as much, right?

Ten

Ten years ago, we got married.

Some days it doesn't seem that long.  Like it was just a few months ago, that I was back at Duke waiting anxiously for my phone to ring or reading the next epistle brought to me by the new miraculous thing called e-mail.

Some days it seems like its been longer.  That my whole life I've loved Will or at least was meant to love him.  That ten years is simply a drop in the bucket for this partnership.  

We are about to embark upon one of the biggest adventures in our lives and I know in my heart that we will be successful because we have each other and our children.  There are many things that falter in life.  Especially at this point in time, I feel as though I am dealing with constant uncertainty.  However, the one thing I will never, ever doubt is the strength of our marriage and the love and support I will always receive from that goofy guy up there.

My favorite story from our wedding that I have told over and over (probably even on this blog already) is what my small flower girl cousins took away from the whole weekend.  As they were preparing for the long ride back to Cleveland, one of my little cousins (who aren't quite so little any more) said to her mom, "I know why Will and Chrissy got married.  Because they are best friends."

Happy Tenth Anniversary Best Friend.

Valentine's Day hike in Ashland

Stuff

When I taught elementary school in Hawaii, I remember being adamant that the words "stuff" or "da kine" not be used in explanations or writing assignments.  The ambiguity of it all.  Be more specific.  Use your ever expanding vocabulary to tell me exactly what you mean.  Don't leave it to my imagination.  The "stuff" I think you are trying to describe may not at all  be the "stuff" you are referring too.  (And I wonder why the students got annoyed with their haole teacher.....)

In any case, the irony is not lost on me that currently my life revolves around STUFF.  Stuff we need, stuff we love, but just can't bring with us, stuff that once held value but now can be discarded, and astonishingly lots of stuff that holds little value, simply taking up space in our home.

I find it hard to express just how difficult it is to rid yourself of nearly everything you own.  Because that is essentially what we are doing.  We are bringing ZERO furniture to Norway. (Well, maybe our coffee table trunk, but I can count that as a moving apparatus....just because it happens to be antique doesn't mean I'm not going to fill that sucker up.)  And the only pieces we are storing at my parents' house are those that we absolutely love, like our dining room table, the old junior high school gym basket holder, my hope chest, a trunk, and Will's antique ginormous chest of drawers.  (Which consequently leaves me without a TV stand in my bedroom.  Do you know how less satisfying my night was tonight, drinking my chamomile tea and watching Suze Orman from the couch?  I mean, I still enjoyed Suze's warmth and wit and pretended I am following her advice, but not being able to snuggle in bed while doing that? Decidedly less enjoyable.)

But I digress.

Ridding our lives of all this STUFF is freeing and depressing all at once.  Lots of these items once held value for Will or myself, and likely they still do.  Yards of fabric and skeins of yarn represent the incomplete projects and good intentions of a procrastinating crafter.  Tools and thousands (not exaggerating here) of zip ties are symbols of our ability to create and fix.  These are values that we pride ourselves on.  Preparedness.  Self-reliance.  Creativity.  Looking at the items headed to the "give away" pile, I regret the projects left undone (and unstarted).  Almost as if we have failed the intent we had when we originally acquired all of this STUFF.

But once it's gone, it's almost as if a weight is lifted.  Almost immediately I have no list of to-do projects constantly floating in the back of my brain.  (Well, you know, except for the whole "move to Norway" thing....)  I love having something on the back burner to pick up and create.  However, I believe I ran out of burners a long time ago and it became very difficult to let go.

Thus, I maintain that everyone needs to at least pretend they are moving to Norway once in their lives.  Because, even though I know the STUFF is going to come back into my life, I would hope that I have a new perspective on it.  I intend to purchase (or accept...because let's face it, I am a sucker for the free)in order to use and enjoy, not to stash away for another time.  A popular quote that runs around blogland is "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful." (William Morris)  I really do hope that I take that to heart this time around.  I've been given a fresh start and I intend to make good on this.

(Dear Friends and Colleagues, please take this advice to heart after you come take all the wonderful items I have advertised on Facebook and e-mail lists as available for the picking.)

Hilarious side note that has nothing to do with the rest of this post: Today I gave Marshall a box of 8 cheap-o crayons to use during the long car trip back from my parents' house and literally the first thing out of his mouth was "Oh! I hope there is chartreuse!"  I love that kid.

Drinking the Good Tea

I know I know, not even a Christmas picture!

But things have been crazy around here and I very purposefully had us SLOW down and enjoy the holidays because I knew that January would be a whirlwind.  And I also very purposefully decided not to add the stress of my annual daily advent posting to the mix.  And it was lovely.  And we truly enjoyed the holidays this year, especially in light of the changes that we knew where right around the corner.

And we are currently in the midst of the predicted whirlwind. Will leaves in a week for the big N and I am currently in beginning my 3 month long ruthless purge of all of our stuff.  Seriously, if we don't love it or we hardly use it or it could easily be replaced once we return stateside again, then it's GONE.  Outrageously long tube of unopened Christmas wrapping paper. GONE.  Full size quilt that is sweet and simple flowery that I thought Josie might someday want in her room. GONE. Tupperware cake holder that I splurged for on myself.  GONE (because who brings cakes anywhere anyway nowadays? It's all about the cupcakes, baby.  I kept the cupcake holder.  Yes, it's big and awkward, but I always feel so put together when I show up with my cupcakes held neatly in a container.  And who doesn't love that feeling? Especially when you have been up since 4 am making said cupcakes. I figured I was worth it.)

Speaking of worth it, in this time of transition where we are working so hard to maintain a small level of peace, I have decided that I am worth a lot.  I am worth it to be able to save certain things that I love that will take up precious space in our 20 foot container and I am also worth it to be able to give away things that I don't necessarily love but have been keeping because they are supposedly practical or sentimental.

I am worth it to make sure to shower, do my hair, and PUT ON MAKE-UP even on the days when I won't be going to work. (That's a biggie.  Hilarious because I have 3...that's right, THREE, items of make-up I use for daily wear, foundation, bronzer, and mascara.  Yes, such a rigorous routine, I know.)

I am worth it to light the nice candles for no reason whatsoever, not just to cover up some horrible smell filling the house (such as Kale Chips...oh, so tasty, but very stinky.)

And, you know what?  I am worth it to drink the good tea.  Not my daily Tetley, but the actual "has a blend name" kind of tea that I keep in the cupboard for "special occasions".  Because Wednesday morning can be a special occasion if you choose it to be.  And I do.